Getting Healthy, Mental Health, Mind

When One Of Your Babies Is Graduating

The last few days have been a bit overwhelming. Adam my oldest in the house is graduating this year. I was (and am) so proud of him. He has done a great job in school. Over the past four years he has been involved in marching band, concert band, symphony band, ski team and he has become my social butterfly.

He saved up enough money to purchase an amazing truck, yesterday. I was okay when he got his license and didn’t freak out any. Yesterday however, it hit me, he is a grown up. He is 18, he has his license, he is graduating high school in less than a month, he has a car and tonight was his last band concert.

I was perfectly fine, until I posted on facebook that it was his last band concert. That did it for me. This was the last time I would be in the PAC watching Adam on stage in band. He may not be my oldest but he is my first to graduate. I don’t suppose it matters any how many of your children get to this stage, it will always be emotional. 

I am sitting back and watching him grow up. He has an amazing head on his shoulders. He is smart. He knows what he wants in life and what he doesn’t want in life. I often wonder how in the world he came from me. So often in life I am wishy washy! I am very proud of the man he has become and I am very excited to see where life is going to take him.

We are in the process of planning an open house for him. We are in the process of wrapping up all of the last little things for his last days, last trip and graduation of this senior year. 

I pray for him. I should pray for him more often than I do. Tonight was the first tough night of many. It is a whole bitter sweet kind of thing. I am so excited and proud of him and yet, he is growing up and moving on. It is hard to watch. 

Have you gone though all of this yet? I pray it gets easier with each one. Yet deep down I know the last one will be the hardest. He has been my hardest first/lasts since he was born. All his firsts are all my lasts. Sigh….

Parenthood! One of the most rewarding things you could ever do with your life. They don’t have to be “your” children to be a parent either. Parenthood is one of the most rewarding and hardest things you could ever do with your life. I am doing it four times. 

Today has been a rough day for more reasons than just he is graduating. My oldest reached out again, he is in a struggle and tomorrow we go for an assessment at a hospital, again. I am beyond thrilled he reach out before attempting to end his life. It is just hard. You want what is best for your children and you have to sit back and watch them make life difficult over and over by doing the same thing over and over.

Tomorrow is a new day and each new day comes with the opportunity to write a new ending! Each new day comes with the opportunity to step into the unknown and make a change. Each new day comes with the ability to say thank you for allowing me to wake up and lets make today great! It does not matter what the prior day was like because each new day is, well, new! 

Now to get some sleep because tomorrow is shaping up to be a longer day than normal! Good Night!

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