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It’s Been a Long Week

I really had no idea what my surgery was going to entail. I had no idea what this week was going to hold. I had a lot of anxiety this week. Even after the surgery was over. I wasn’t even anxious about the surgery, so it was odd for me to go full blown attacks after it was over.

We started a new book in Bible study last week, about prayer. The book is called FerVent by Priscillia Shirer. I wasn’t sure what it was going to be about. I didn’t know what to expect but I was excited to get into a book about prayer. I have been focusing on my prayer life. It is getting better but I wasn’t certain how to take it further. So this is very exciting for me.

As some of you know I love to write and (most weeks) I do a weekly summary for the woman’s Bible study I attend. Here is what I wrote this week for the summary of FerVent:

Hi Ladies,

I didn’t do an update last week because we had not finished. So this is going to be a combination from This Means War, Opening In Prayer and Strategy 1. 

I was not certain what this book was going to be like. She talks about wanting us to use this book and make it worn and torn and use the strategies as situations come up in life. I didn’t know if she was actually going to teach us to pray like Jesus did with, “Our Father in heaven” or if she was just giving us strategies to utilize.

At first I was hoping it would be like what Jesus did in the Bible. Then I started to think about it, Jesus taught us how to pray in Matthew 6:5-15. He tells us to go into our room with the Father and close the door. He tells us not to babble on with big words that mean nothing. God knows what we are about to pray for and He is waiting for us, in our unique way to come to Him to pray. 

I heard yesterday, “We must remember that Satan has his miracles, too.” ~John Calvin. Remember that Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light (2 Corinthians 11:14). When I first heard the Calvin quote it really threw me off for a moment. But as she talks about in the book and how it states in the Bible, “Satan is the father of lies” (John 8:44). His miracles could be deceiving us so that things look to be of God, that an answer to prayer is coming, and the path it is leading to, is the wide path and not the narrow one. He is the master of deception, why would he always use bad things, why couldn’t he use good things/miracles against us as well?

This is why we are always told to check the Word with all we do. So of course if we are to check what our choices are with the Word, why wouldn’t we use the Word in our prayers?! 

We are in a war. We are in a fallen world. We forget things we were going to pray for. We forget things we were going to do and things we were not going to do. We get overwhelmed with things that don’t matter. We let things that matter the most go off to the side for later. We are in a war and thankfully, it has already been won, we are just stuck in the middle of it. 

When I think about getting passion back I am reminded of when Roxanne’s boys were lost. They became of the world and she became of the Word. She drew closer to Jesus and prayer. Her Bible verses were (and are) all over her house. She felt closer to God in that crisis because she believed His Word, His Truths and Him! She was praying fervently.
We do not and should not wait until we are in a crisis to feel that passion, that closeness, that power in our prayers. As she talks about pray for the passion to pray. God has placed that desire inside of us, ask Him to fan the flames! 

This is really what I have taken from the book so far:
1. Be precise when we pray
2. As for the passion to be ignited
3. Jesus taught us how to pray, now use what you learned from Him and these strategies and make your prayer as unique as you

P – Praise
R – Repent
A – Ask
Y – Yes, claim His promises

P – Pray
U – Until
S – Something
H – Happens

P – Prayer
R – Releases
A – All
Y – Your
E – Eternal
R – Resources

A – Always
S – Say
A – A
P – Prayer

Something else that has been brought to me is that I need to keep my heart and mind open, because they may not be answered exactly as I want. I tend to pray with a “solution” already spelled out in my brain. So while I am praying, God may be answering and I am missing it because I am so focused on what I think the answer should be. I guess I need to learn how to pray, ask, and look for what answer He is bringing to me. 

God is so good. He never leaves you. Open your prayer journal and just write to Him. Make your prayer personal, precise, thankful, repenting, and claiming His Word for your victory. 

We are reading Strategy 2 next week! 

I pray daily. I have a lot of work I need to do on my prayers. I have been getting more focused and precise, which is great. However I still have a lot of work. I was so focused on making sure I was doing it right, sometimes I feel as if I was missing the point of prayer! 

Some of the times, like I mentioned above, I was focused on  the answer and solution to my prayer than the actual prayer. I was praying to God while giving Him the solution. The problem with that is, I am not God, I am Amy. I can wish and hope for a certain answer to what I am praying for, but then I am missing out on the miracle of what prayer and His answer to it! 

I happen to really focus on this the past two days. I have believed in prayer but I think I have felt like God would not answer my prayers. Why would I feel like He would not answer me? Because when I have prayed before, I was praying with an answer in mind. So instead of being open to seeing, hearing, and welcoming His answer, I was looking for my answer to the prayer. How often are my answers the correct answer to my prayers? I am going to say about 1% of the time, and so I rarely felt like my prayers made a difference. My prayers were not powerful and didn’t change anything. My prayers were missing substance or what was important for Him to actually hear me and for them to make a difference. 

Then last September something changed. Once a week I started writing my prayers down. Obviously since it was once a week, it wasn’t all my prayers. Yet since that time, some of those precise prayers, some of those prayers that didn’t have an Amy answer, have already been answered. Do you know how amazing that is? I stopped answering my own prayers and God took over, who knew!

This week has been busy. It has been crazy. I have had a lot of anxiety and panics. I have had to deal with pain, children missing mom, and my emotional self. Also trying to make sure that we had everything taken care of financially (starting our strict budget/bill pay off plan here). I was letting negative take over and the accuser get in. I can not fully prevent it but I can fully prepare for it. I can get the Word in me. I can keep the Word with me. Goes back to when I talked about making My spiral notebook. In my post about simple little reminders, I talk about how this little set of index cards has changed my life!

I do not need to be fully of anxiety and panic. That isn’t love. That isn’t what God would want for me. He would want me to be free, to claim His promises from His Word. That is what I am going to do.

I am going to pray. I am going to write my prayers down. I am no longer going to have any expectation of how He is going to answer my prayers because my answers are not the best answer. I am going to pull out my spiral notebook (index cards) and I am going to claim what is mine! He has given me a gift, it is about time I start using my Life Book for my life!

Have you ever been so blessed to have a light bulb go off after a long week? I would love to hear about it! 

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