One of the changes I have been making is to sit each morning and read from my Bible. Not only do I read from it, I underline in it, I write what I am thinking, I doodle, I color and I just make it what I am hearing from Him.
I do not have any set pattern with how I read. I open it up and just kind of browse through and find something that sticks out to me. Or if I am feeling lead to head to a place, I go there. Just like yesterday I was feeling lead to Proverbs 31 but in the end I ended up on Proverbs 30 and was lead to pray about someone else. So yesterday God lead me someplace I had never been. This has been a very personal journey for me and to write in my Bible and to pray for someone else in there; was never something I would have done in the past. I would have pulled paper out and written there but instead I did what I was lead to do.
Today I woke up in a very big funk. The past few days have been hard for me. I have been doing so well with self-control and being lead by Him and by Sarayu, that I have felt that I have been living in the Spirit. Yet these last few days have been self-lead and it has been bad.
In Galatians 5 it talks about living in the Spirit. It talks about love, joy, peace, kindness, forbearance, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. It talks about when you live in the flesh you are living for yourself. You are seeking out sexual immorality, impurity, debauchery, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, discord, jealousy, rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and it is talking about living for you.
I know you can’t always avoid living in the flesh fully but I do know that you can always call out to God. I do know you can always ask for Sarayu to intercede for you. I do know that you can always ask for help from Christ.
Christ Died For ME! For ME! So why is this (living in the Spirit) so hard for me? So why am I living in the flesh these last three days? It is so frustrating!
Do you know how long it takes for something new to stick with you? Six weeks of being consistent and doing it daily. Do you know how long I have been doing good with the small changes? February 14th and March 10th are the two key dates! That means 12 weeks and 8 weeks, so why am I falling back into the old flesh ways? Because it takes people who have lived in the flesh all their lives (so all of us) moments to slip back into what we were.
Call out, cry out, beg for help, scream for interceding for yourself because YOU are worth it! I am worth it!
So has the last few days ruined me? No I just need to focus on Sarayu. I just need to focus on the Spirit, God and Christ. I just need to know that sometimes those setbacks are just what are needed for the best growth; growth that is about to happen!
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